SMC meanderings

Self reality check: countdown to first IUI. Teetering between 'omg what if it works the first time out' and 'it hardly ever works the first time.'

This process has steadily progressed since the get-go: but this a.m. I got scared. Scared of post-partum, scared of no sleep, scared of being exhausted and stressed with no one to back me up. Fear of me at my worst. 

Yet, the sense of empowerment from walking this path alone is thrilling. My buttons get pushed and each time I feel this intended child is stronger than anyone's doubts, including my own. 

 

for future: 

Meditations on lonely and alone